(found in my old journal which I was flipping through from the year 2000) 

Human beings’ natural inclination in a relationship is to keep the peace. Tension reduction. That is our natural tendency.

This paradoxically is the fundamental starting point of relationship tension. Why? There is a natural pull between the need to “be oneself” and the need to keep the peace. Ideally you can be yourself and not create any conflict.

But this is not possible.

Human beings are hardwired to tension.